I went to Target today at lunch. As I was walking in I looked around and noticed something, the majority of those around me were women, a lot of them had children, a lot of them were dressed down, sweats, jeans...you get the picture. They were (I'm assuming for the majority here) SAHMs. I thought to myself, I am so very thankful. I was reminded of when I was younger, all the way from H.S., through college, and throughout my job at Target, I always wanted to be the woman I was today. Running into Target, obviously during my lunch hour, to get some necessities. Today I was even sporting the high heels,obviously coming from work.
When I worked at Target and saw these 'professional' women hurry in I always thought, someday Melissa, someday you'll be there. You won't always be here, in red and cackie (sp), fake smile plastered to your face, working odd hours, no sitting down, etc. etc. I knew that wasn't the life for me. Nothing wrong with it, just wrong for me. Just as I know now that those other women I see, the ones that go to Target almost every single day (yes, many of the people I saw while working at Target I saw so often that I knew them and their children on a first name basis), is something that is beyond me. I don't think I can be that SAHM. I apologize profusely for this. I always wanted a career. I could never really figure out how children would come into play. I wasn't against having children but I wasn't overly concerned about it either. I knew and know, that I want to be a mom, but I was extremely privileged and was able to go to college. I was fortunate to get a great job in a field I truly enjoy. I have sacraficed, as have those around me, to be where I am today. I love that I have a career and giving it up may be more than I am able to do(and I know it's hard to say this until you are actually there, and maybe I will have a change of heart....) On top of this, it's so hard these days to make a living on one salary. We still struggle with both of us having good jobs. Then add a child or two to the equation and subtract one of those salaries, how do people do it? Maybe in a different world where money was never a worry I would stay home with my children and be able to do something from home. Something that I truly enjoyed and helped me fill like a participant. But even then...I don't know. I think I would miss getting dressed for work, tackling challenging problems, and having adult interaction.
My mom stayed at home until my sister and I were in school. Those are some of the best memories of my life. Going to McDonald's and then driving around the 'fancy' neighborhoods and looking at their flowerbeds. My mom would tell us what all the flowers were and we would ohhh and ahhh. We would always sing along to all the songs on the radio and I knew my mom was the coolest person in the world. We were the three musketeers! We would go to my grandma's house and get a pepsi. My dad always worked two jobs, and I still know that my parents struggled. But all the sacrifice was worth it for my parents. It meant alot for my mom to get to be home, she had given up a great job to do it. But my mom also cooked dinner every single night and our house was spotless. More than anything else we bonded during those years and that bond has never broken, it's only gotten stronger. As an adult I am able to see everything that my parents did for me and even if I'm not able to be a SAHM, hopefully I can still provide the same strong memories for my children, instilling appreciation that
the best things in life aren't things, while maintaining a career.
As a side note, today's
Greek Tragedy blog was about this same thing...coincidence. I think all the varying opinions on staying at home are interesting. People feel hardcore about these things!
