Weekend with the girls

My mom and aunt and grandma came up to visit me this past weekend and it was wonderful! They had to battle the blizzard on Thursday but they made it! I was mad the weather wasn't better, but at least we were together. It really makes living in Colorado even better to be reminded of how close I am to my family and to get to spend time together like this. We shopped ALOT and went out to eat and laughed and had fun. I really wish my sister could have been here too - that would have made it complete. Hopefully next time she will be with us too. I'll try to upload my pics later and post them.
Happy Monday!

Mr. Winter - are you done yet?

Woke up this morning to snow again. Don't get me wrong. I love snow and I love winter. But it is almost April and I am ready for spring. We had the most mild winter and now this? It was crazy on Thursday and now it's coming down again. I started to drive in when I called the snow line and found out we have a delay...the roads weren't that bad, maybe I just should have gone in anyways. Decisions Decisions! I guess I'll hold off for now.....
Hopefully this will be the last of our winter though. Mother nature keeps teasing us - 75 degree's weekend before last and freezing this past weekend. I'm pretty sure our trees that budded out are done....no telling if my tulips are going to make it (those the Kirby hasn't already devoured).
And now my feelings are hurt. I accidentally scared Kirby when I came back home this morning and now he is super scared of me! He won't even come to me.

I will be a Yogi....if I don't break my face first

I went to yoga again today. I even bought my own mat so that I don't have to lay down on the grody communal gym one. I do love yoga and I want to get really good at it. Let me rephrase that....I love the way people look when they do yoga and I desire to look like that. But it is so much harder than it looks. I thought I was going to eat it today.....mostly because of my sweaty palms! They just start sliding and I have to stop the pose. Then I look over in the mirror, thinking to myself, you are probably doing good....WRONG! I look like a pale, off balance chunk! My wobbling only adds to my belly bouncing and I kind of want to giggle, but I know that's inappropriate in the class. The harder I try the goofier I look. I am so ungraceful - which is one of the reasons I want this so badly! I know I can do this...I'm just worried about how long it's going to take. I'm inpatient. I mean - I've been walking for 27 years and I have not mastered it......what does that say?

Sad face.....

I had to take an assessment test before my accounting class starts next Tuesday. And I failed.....so of course, I feel like a failure. It was not at all what I thought it would be. What is wrong with me? I'm just in a sad mood, so I'm going to vent.
I got off work late....again. Completely overwhelmed.
I need new contacts ASAP!
The computer is bombing out...again.
The new TV we just got already bit the dust and some repair guy can't come out until next week.
I have to sit through an accounting class on Saturday in order to take the test...again...and I have to pass this time in order to take the class.
How can I have not passed a BASIC accounting exam? Seriously?? I know I haven't taken an accounting class since 2002 but still!!! That is only 7 years ago!!!! Urghh.

I'm just a sappy mess. I'm holding in my crying right now and my heart fills full of tears. I hate that! No, it's not because of my exam, although that did add to my stress. I saw an old friend's myspace (yes, I know, myspace...am I 13?) profile and it just brought up a lot of old memories. You know, the kind you suppress and only think about when you are ready to lay your head down and sob until your dehydrated. I haven't spoken to him in so many years....too many years. He and I share a past that is heartbreaking and beautiful. This was not a romantic relationship - it was just a friendship. I wonder if people forget that you love them if you let a relationship fall to the side? I think part of the reason we didn't keep in touch was because it was too painful to do so, at least that is my excuse. He is a reminder....and it's not like I need reminders of ANYTHING to do with my past. I am the master of carrying my past everywhere I go. And I have learned to live with all that has happened. I have learned how to deal with happiness and sorrow and to live a life effected by them, yet not affect me on a daily basis. I think that no matter how old you get or how long ago in the past something happened, the emotions can sneak up on you and make it feel like it happened recently. Pain dulls, but is that only because we learn to live with it? That must be it because it's not like you look back and say "it wasn't that bad or that good". It becomes a scar that we are used to seeing everyday. Then you run into someone that shares a similar scar, they may have it in a different place and theirs may be deeper, but it reopens your wound and reminds you that it will never truly go away.

If you have a baby, you won't be the baby!

That is one of my favorite lines from one of the funniest movies ever, Overboard.

I guess I just have babies on the mind. I've had "baby fever" before....but this time it's pretty bad. It could be that I have a birthday in a couple of months and I'm going to be 28. Man I used to think that was ancient! Or maybe it's because I feel like everyone I know is having a baby, or trying to have a baby, or expanding their family. Ok, that's an exaggeration....there are plenty of friends who aren't in family mode yet. But it just somehow feels right...like we should be trying for one.

Then my realistic side kicks in and says "of course you can't have a baby now!" I don't have time....wow- that sounds like a cop-out. Who does have the time? I know I can't do it while still in school, and I think that's why I want one, because I know that I really can't do it right now. You know, you always want what you can't have. But I go to school 2 nights a week. Ok, that's not bad. But on those days I try to leave for work 6ish (if I don't go to spinning at 5:30am) and don't get home until around 10:30 at night. So on those days I wouldn't see my baby and Tony would be a single parent. Who wants to sign up for that? Oh and the logistics...don't get me started.
If by chance I can accelerated the rate I am taking classes (currently I'm taking 2 classes per quarter) and possibly be done sooner, then maybe we can start trying next fall...if not, I won't be done with school until 2011.....and that seems like so far away.
On the flip side there is still so much we want to do before we are tied down. We would like to travel some more, save up some money....I could go on and on with excuses. I guess in the mean time I'll have to live vicariously through my friends with babies....Andi, Renata, Jen, Heather, Trysha.....