New Year's Eve Grub

On the menu for tonight:
Little Smokies
Crab Dip in a bread bowl
Ranch Dip and Veggies
Shrimp & Dip
Champagne punch

It's a good thing Mandy and Michael and the kids are joining the 3 of us!

Bon Appetit!

Ending December with The Decemberists

So lovely.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9JKoCtoox8

Read this story of The Crane Wife - it explains where the song came from.

Resolutions continued..........

So going off my last post I continue my resolutions. One of them being to take more pictures. Tony and I invested in a really nice Canon DSLR this past year. We always have the best intentions of taking pictures but then forget! And seriously, even if I don't want to lug around the big gun it's not that hard to take my little digital camera with me in my purse to capture moments. So this year I am going to try really hard to take more pics.
Geocaching. This is something that Tony and I really enjoy doing (as you can see from previous posts). But its something we just haven't done that much of. One of the biggest reasons is grad school. I know I blame it most of the time for why I don't/can't get things done, but it's all I do! There just aren't enough hours in a day. But maybe if we plan ahead of time we can stick to it and start doing more of it. At REI they are really expanding their caching stuff. They have a section dedicated to it now.
I have quite a few other "little" resolutions too. Now that I look at these -they are not so much resolutions as parts of my life I want to improve on or things I want to do. I know that for the first half of the year (until August 13th! Graduation day!) they are all going to have to go on the back burner because I'll be going to school full time, but maybe every now and again I can find the time to do things I really enjoy doing. Like sewing (or more like learning to sew), keeping a cleaner house (how can 2 people and a dog get a house so dirty?), cooking more, baking more, keeping in touch better with friends and family. Take language classes (free Rosetta Stone through the college library - how can I pass that up???).
Oh, and we have big plans for the garden this year. We are going to expand it to double in size so that we can grow more food!! We had a lot of fun last summer and learned some lessons. We have already started planning how we are going to lay it out and what we are going to plant. The veggies just tasted so good and it felt good to eat straight out of the garden. Hopefully this year I will have enough to can as well.
One of the bigger resolutions I am really going to try and stick to is letting go of guilt. I am guilt ridden! It's almost debilitating. I feel bad about everything. I think of things that happened years ago and I am plagued with guilt about what I should have done or didn't do or did wrong. I know how unhealthy it is. I am still not sure how I am going to do accomplish this. If I start letting things go I know it will help. I feel like it's part of my DNA to feel so bad about next to everything. Like taking time off work - it's hard to even enjoy it because I think of what I should be doing or what I am going to have to face when I get back. I worry that maybe I'm not in the right career field. I worry that I don't have children yet....and what if I can't? What if I wait so long to start trying that I am not able to? I feel guilty that I don't do as well in school as I should. Oh, I could go on and on and on with this list.
On this same note another thing I need to do is learn to let things go. I know in my head that not everyone is going to want to keep/maintain friendships. I guess I just always think that even if you don't talk to someone often that you continue thinking positive thoughts and hoping good things come their way, but not everyone is like that. This sounds negative, but I need to accept that and realize that friendships are two sided and they cannot be maintained by only one side. And I will still continue praying for people and wishing great things for their life, but I cannot allow the non existant reciprocation of this to affect me. I mean, how many times do you reach out to someone before you realize that they are never going to reach back? Does it make you a fool to continue trying? Maybe it is just a waste of time that you could be spending on those that really count in your life, those that are going to be there at the finish line waiting for you with open arms and an iced coke. Once you realize that you can see that they were the ones cheering you one the whole time, even when you were falling, when you were wanting to give up and walk away, they were the ones who loved you no matter what and they are ones that are important then you can focus your energy on doing the same for them. And I don't want this to sound like I am going to start taking people out of the address book, I'm just not going to put as much heart into those relationships. I'm going to try and keep them at arms length, then its not such a big deal when in the past I would be disappointed. I think part of why I am feeling this way is our lack of friendships here in Colorado. As you get older too, I think you realize that there are a few people who really count in life and they need/want you as bad as you do them. I am so lucky and so grateful for the lovely people in my life....the ones who will drop everything to listen, who know just what to say and who know it's ok to not say anything at all sometimes. The ones who call just to hear your voice and be reassured that you are ok. So here is to letting the nagging feeling that it's my fault go to the wayside with the rest of 2009.

New Year's Resolutions and other notions

It seems like everyday I add to my list of resolutions. Things I want to change about myself. I usually don't do resolutions because I seem to break them the minute I make them - but this year I'm hoping to turn that trend around. And what a better time to do so as I enter my 29th year. That's right, the BIG 2-9. I figure I ought to try and end this decade on a high note.
My biggest resolution is to start running again. Not only that - but to run with a purpose(s). I know that mentally it will make me feel a million times better. It will help me to de-stress. With all that I have had going on for the past year and half, the move, new job, going back to school along with all the other everyday stresses that we all face, I desperately need to do something to help me cope. I also have this dream of ending my twenties at the size I was at the beginning of my twenties. That is going to be close to impossible, but a girl can dream, right? Granted I haven't gotten on a scale since last summer, but I know I have a ways to go. I also plan on signing up for some competitive runs. The best part about these is that you are always striving for your own PR, it's not so much a race against anyone else. I love that running is measurable, be it time or distance or both. I think that if I sign up for some ahead of time I will have more drive to keep practicing. I just keep trying to remember how good it felt when I accomplished my best run. It wasn't very fast, but it was definetly the hardest run I ever did. It was not that far, maybe 3 1/2 miles, but I did it the whole way through without walking and I felt so good about myself when I finished. It was a course I had done so many times before, but had usually had to stop and walk for a bit halfway through. If I keep thinking about how good that felt I know it will help me to be inspired. I'm reading a book right now on running and one of the suggestions was to find a running group. When we lived in Federal Hill there was a running group that I always wish I would have joined. The book says that it will help you to stay committed and make your runs more fun. Maybe this would be an opportunity to make some friends as well. I'll have to look into it (another item added to my to-do list). Another idea from the book was to expand your running courses. So maybe I can start trail running. That is one thing that I am a little nervous about since my knees are so bad - so I'll have to try it out and see if I can do it. I have seen some people trail running while we have been out hiking and they are hard core!! But the scenary might be worth it.
Well, this is enough for now. My first resolution. I'll have to list the rest of them in another post. Right now I need to finish getting ready for my sister!! She's driving up tonight and I can't wait! We are going to try and go either cross country skiing or snow shoeing on Wednesday in Breckenridge. They have a Nordic Center there with groomed trails. We have been snow shoeing before but never CC skiing - which looks like so much fun! I love the winter and I want to make the most of it. It's just so nice to be outside enjoying the white fluffy stuff. Hopefully I'll remember to take pictures (take more pictures - another resolution). Maybe we can even do some Geo-caching while we are up in the mountains (see - another resolution!!).

Merry Christmas to All

HAPPY CANOEING!!!

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! Our's was wonderful! We drove down to New Mexico on Wednesday and got back home today. Driving was kind of hairy - we hit a really bad storm in between Vaughn and Roswell. It was definetly in the top 3 worst driving conditions we have been in - only change up was that I was driving!! There was no where to pull over to switch. No plows, no salt, just a really icy stretch. It was super scary but thankfully we made it ok.
It was great to be with my family. We had a really nice time. We spent most of it at my parents house but also got to go over to my aunts and see my grandparents and cousins. It's been too long.
We were going to go to Minnesota for New Year's but have decided against it. We are tired and don't want to risk the weather being bad on the road again.
I also got to catch up with some old friends while in Roswell! We met up with Marla and Lauren and Doug this morning for breakfast. I haven't seen Mar since she came out to Baltimore in 2007 and I think it's been 3 years since I've seen Lauren. There is never enough time but at least I got to catch up with them for a little while. It's so hard when everyone lives so far apart.
I have one week off until school starts. Ughh, I need to buy my books. Oh, and finish a 20 page paper from my last class. But this last week I'm going to try and relax as much as possible. And try to finalize my New Year's resolutions - which at this point are NUMEROUS!

Book Review and New Readings

So I finished the Sarah Palin book. It was an interesting read because I am interested in her. But I think if you are looking to get a juicy autobiography - this is not the book for you. It was mostly about her experience in politics in Alaska. Then towards the end it was dedicated to her experience with the RNC and running as VP. The part I liked most was that throughout the book she continued to talk about how she was a mom first and how much she loved her kids. I really admire her being able to balance it all. I don't know how she does it! She's a really beautiful person, both inside and out. After Andrea gets done reading it I'm probably going to mail it to my friend Craig - I know he's been dying to get his hands on it (I will also be including my selection of Ann Coulter books).

I started reading Rumspringa on the plane today. I'm hooked! I'm already almost 1/2 way done. It's so interesting and it's something that I knew next to nothing about until today. For those of you who don't know, Rumspringa is a period in an Amish person's life where they are able to live outside the bounds of the Amish rules. It starts when you turn 16 and ends when you decide to leave the church or come back into the fold through Baptism. I can't imagine going from such a sheltered life to a life where almost everything goes. The part that shocked me the most was that they have an 80-90% return rate! Call me crazy, but I just think the Amish way of life would be so much easier. Less stress, less involvement with the trails of this world. The one thing that seems unbelievable is that they stop their education at the 8th grade. That would be the hardest part to handle. I guess I love how they all take care of eachother and try everyday to live a Christ like life. I'll be interested to finish the book and see how the main people that Mr.Shachtman interviewed turned out.

Brrr....

It's so cold here!! It started snowing on Sunday morning and it's kept up intermittently since then! I think the warmest it has gotten here since Sunday has been in the teens. When I got home today my car said 7 degrees and the wind is blowing - so it really felt like the wind chill was in the negatives. So cold! I just want to stay inside and stay warm! I still had to go to work though and errands still have to be ran, they don't stop just because of the cold. I had to go to the post office - mailed off 2 presents!! 2 more things to check off my list. And the post office isn't quite a mad house yet.
You know what today is? Julie and Julia is on DVD!! Yeah!!! So I had to high tail it to Blockbuster and get a copy for tonight. I'm so excited - I loved this movie in the theater. It just makes me want to blog and cook. Ok, I already do both, but I would like to do both well! Maybe someday. :)
17 more days until Christmas!

Pretty in Pink

When we were little, one of Amy and I's favorite movies was Pretty in Pink. Along with Grease and 7 Brides for 7 Brothers. I watched Pretty in Pink again the other night and I had forgotten how much I love that movie!!! It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I'm sure the nostalgia has more to do with times gone by than with the actual movie - but still. That movie is great. First of all - the pink Carmengia. That is still my dream car. Every time we see one I remind Tony that some day it will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine. And I still think Molly Ringwald is one of the most beautiful actresses. What happened to her? I never realized until the other night how punk she is in this movie. And it's not necessarily her clothes or style, but it's her. It's her attitude. The places she hangs out. She stands out.
The first scene - where Steph hits on Andie - reminds me so much of Juno when Ellen Page talks about how the popular jock is supposed to like cheerleaders, but secretly wants to date the goth/the vamp/the nerd. And they know they can't get her.
Blaine wins your heart when he lets his inner nerd come out with the computer trick in the library. Ahhh, ancient IMing.
Duckie - oh Duckie. You can't talk about this movie without talking about Duckie. He's loved Andie for as long as he can remember. Maybe all of us at some point in our life can identify with a Duckie and Andie relationship. Having a platonic relationship that you want more out of - but you know the other person doesn't. I think that is why he is so relateable.

Wait...It's already December?

I'm really not sure where November went, but I can't believe it's already December. So much to do! I finished my interterm class last week, and even though it's over and that is one more class down (9 to go!) I still really wish I would not have taken it. I still have a 20 page paper due and it's probably going to hang over my head through the holidays. Although I am going to Alabama in 1 week, so maybe I'll have some time to work on it there.
Our Thanksgiving was wonderful in New Mexico. Although it's a long trek, it's always worth it. Our Thanksgiving was really nice and calm, with just me and Tony, my folks, my sister and brother-in-law, and my grandparents. Such wonderful food! We had a really great time. I had full intentions of taking lots of pics then forgot our memory card at home! I'll try to make up for it over Christmas, as we are heading back to the Land of Enchantment.
Today I cooked a turkey with all of the fixings. Tony really wanted a ton of leftovers (even though my folks sent us home with some), so I baked the bird and all the fixings. At this point I'm pretty tired of being in the kitchen. I don't know what it is, but after cooking all day the food tastes just ok. Now tomorrow I'm sure it will be so much more delicious, but after looking at it for hours today - I just really wasn't in the mood.

Christmas presents - I am slightly ahead of the game....more so than most years. I have 3 presents bought...almost 4. And I have every intention of finishing THIS week. I thought I would be able to craft some homemade gifts, but alas, my good intentions fell to the wayside. Along with my mind. Maybe next year?

Last night we went out for dinner and drinks with Amy and Brian. So much fun! It was super cold but our food was great and the drinks....the drinks. Amy and I drank White Russians and all I could think was - Where have you been all my life? So good!!! We've only been out with Amy and Brian a couple of times  - but we always have a good time and hopefully in the new year we can hang out more. Geography is our enemy in this relationship. They live downtown and we live in BFE. But logistics aside, hopefully we can all find time to hang out more.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We are off to New Mexico tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. We haven't been home for Thanksgiving since 2004!! Our first Thanksgiving in MD, Tony's family flew out. It was my first Thanksgiving to cook - and I cringe to think about it!! It was edible and everyone was so sweet about it - but lets just say my cooking skills have definetly gotten better over the years. I remember how great it was to get to be with family after a year of being so very lonely on the East Coast.
The next year was our first Thanksgiving in our row in in Baltimore and Jenni and Rob flew out to be with us. Such a good memory! Then the next year it was just the two of us and our new puppy Kirby. Last year we had just moved into our house and had limited time off - so I cooked for the two of us. We are definetly looking forward to being with my family this year.
On another note - today is me and Tony's, prepare yourself, 8 year anniversary!! It sounds like a long time! I can't believe how quickly the past 8 years have gone by. So many sweet memories and so many changes. We went out to dinner on Saturday night to celebrate, so tonight it is spegetti and a movie.
One really great memory I like to think about every anniversary is getting to see my great grandma on my wedding day. She was in the hospital and couldn't make it to our wedding, but after the ceremony Tony and I drove up there in our wedding duds and went to see her. I remember she could barely talk but she was so happy to see us - and I kept thinking to myself - I'm the luckiest person in the world to be able to have my great grandmother on my wedding day. One of the best days of my life.

Books, Books, more books.....

One thing I try not to neglect even when my schedule seems filled up is reading. Even though I don't get to read as much as I would like while I'm in school - I was still able to squeeze some books in. I read Outliers last week - I HIGHLY recommend this book. It was very very interesting. I just love books that make you think about things in a new way - a way you haven't thought of before but which make sense. It reminded me of Freakenomics - another great read. Outliers was a quick read too - once I picked it up I couldn't put it down.
Now today I started Going Rouge. I pre-ordered the book for super cheap - because as most of you know - I love Sarah Palin. She has a lot of qualities that I really admire in a person. I could write an entire post on the reasons I like her - but maybe I'll save that for another time.
Reading is at the top of my list of things to do while I'm on break from school - along with a slew of other crafts. Amy came up the other weekend (woo-hoo) and taught me how to sew. I've wanted to learn for a while, but lately the urge to make things has been in high gear. I think it's because I've been so overwhelmed with work and school - I just want to do projects that would relax me. So I've learned how to embroider and I'm going to look for a sewing machine on Black Friday so I can start doing that. My list of what I want to do on break is huge and I know I won't have time to get to it all - but here's to trying! I really hope I don't give up on this like I have so many other things. I'm always gung ho at the beginning then it fizzes out as I realize it's more work than I had originally thought....ahhhh, the best of intensions.

Catching up with old friends in Maryland

I had to go back to Maryland somewhat unexpectedly for work at the end of October. I only had about a weeks notice. And even though it was completely hectic trying to fit in a year's worth of meetings into 3 days I still got to hang out with my friends in the evenings. It was great! I really really wish Tony could have gone back with me -but it was just too late of notice and plane tickets were outrageous. Maybe next time we'll have more of a heads up.
I went out to eat with Nathan, Jesse, Rob and Cherie on Wednesday night. Then Thursday night I drove up to Jen' and Adam's house and got to meet their precious baby! He's almost a year old and I'd never seen him before! Talk about baby fever kicking into high gear. And I got to see my friends Heather and Gary and their little girl Brooke - it's crazy to say little girl because it just seems like yesterday that Heather was pregnant....time goes by so quickly! And she is beautiful and so sweet! My friend Jack also came over for pizza that night - and it was just good to visit with everyone and try to catch up. It was nice as well to get to sit around and remember Bob and the good times we'd had at work.
On Friday night Cherie had a party at her house. Good food, good friends, good times. We all just started up where we had left off, like nothing had changed. It was definetly somewhat bitter sweet though - to think about all the friends and good times we had in Maryland and the fact that we haven't been able to recreate that here. It feels like we are still in adjustment mode. Friday night too I got to go over to Jason and Renata's new house and play with Evan - who is just awesome!! He is so funny and easy going. It's so cool  to see such personality bundled up into a little package. I'm so thankful that I got to meet up with almost everyone and hopefully it won't be so long in between getting together again.

Take a breath...

I finished my finals yesterday. Another quarter down. 10 classes left.....there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I'm exhausted. I have off this next week - then I'm taking a week long intensive class the following week. Then I'll have off again until the first week of January. Good news though - I got accepted to the 20/20 program at work! So I'm going to be able to work part time while going to school full time! This will definetly help me to finish sooner. I am nervous about taking such a full work load on as far as classes go - but I've done ok so far, so hopefully it won't be too overwhelming! It will be nice to be able to focus so much more time towards school though.
This past quarter wasn't the hardest - it was still a lot of work though -especially towards the end, which is why I haven't posted much lately. I'll try to catch up and make some posts tonight though!

Bad Blogger

I haven't posted in what feels like so long. Life has just been busy!

I got to go home to New Mexico last weekend! It was wonderful! The drive kind of got to me on the way back to Colorado though. I was just tired of driving I guess. It was my mom's 51st B-day on Friday so I went down to celebrate. I had a great time visiting with everyone. I hadn't seen my sister since July! The weather was great and it is once again, a beautiful NM fall.

Next week I'm going to MD for meetings. I'm pretty excited to get to see my friends! I just wish that Tony could go with me. I know how much he wants to visit again and catch up with everyone. He hasn't been back since we moved and I haven't been there since last December. I'm only going to be there a few days but hopefully I'll have enough time to squeeze in seeing everyone.

The weekend after that Tony is flying out to Minnesota to go deer hunting with his dad and brothers. He's really excited about that! Hopefully he gets one!! Yum! If he does get one we'll probably end up driving back up there at New Year's to pick up the meat.

I'm really hoping that Amy comes up the weekend Tony is out of town so we can have a girls weekend. I have lots of plans for us so I hope she can make it! We are going to try and learn to embroider and make some Christmas gifts.

It looks like it's going to be pretty busy for us from here until the New Year - but it's good to be busy.

Finding your OM

The other day my friend sent me an email at work and he was telling me how he's at a place in his life that is definetly good - but how he wants something different. He thought things would be different. He and his wife really want to move closer to family, but are struggling to figure out HOW to make that happen. How do you walk away from a really good job, a house you can't sell, instead of waiting and seeing how things go maybe next year? Patience is such a virtue and one of the hardest things to have. They are homesick. He thought things would be different and he feels like his wheels are just spinning as he's biding his time. I've been there. We've all been there. It's so easy to forget about the present because you are busy trying to plan your future. How much do we miss by doing that?
It got me thinking about how you picture your future at different points in your life and then it seems to turn out so different than you had imagined. A lot has to do with fate - but I think a lot has to do with you and what you create for your future. I would like to think that you can do anything.....maybe that is my age still talking. But to a certain extent you can create your own course. Not to say you won't fail, but the worse thing would be having never tried. It's easy to say - I want to do this and I think it would make me happy - but the following through is so hard. You may have to give up your good job to go back to school with the hope of finding a more fulfilling career. You are rolling the dice - but honestly - how often does someone get a degree or training and then say - well, that extra time and money and new education wasn't worth it? At least you tried - you went for it. And the potential pay off is so  much more than struggling in the mean time. I struggle with this because I'm such a worrier! I will worry about the smallest details until I make myself sick.
As I was laying in bed the other night thinking about this - an image, maybe a dream but I wasn't fully asleep yet, came to my mind that filled me with calmness. This image is quite a few years down the road, but it's peaceful and I can't stop thinking about it. Tony and I were at his Aunt Edie's cabin on the lake (Minn), a place we have been numerous times before. Tony's dad spent summers there and Tony got to go there when he was young too. It's been in the family for a long time. It's a beautiful little bungaloo and you can walk right down to the pier. In the image Tony was down at the pier with our two little boys and they were fishing. I could hear them giggling and squealing. I was up on the porch working on research for school and beside me was a bassenet with a beautiful baby girl sleeping in it. The breeze was nice and soft and it was a beautiful summer day. My cup runneth over.
Now whether or not this will ever happen is up in the air. But it's a very real possibility. Anyways, I've been thinking about it all week and it has made me smile each time. Maybe that is my happy place - the place I should close my eyes and go to when things get stressful - or when I forget about the really important things in life. My mantra.
What's yours?

WOO HOO TWINS!!

They did it in the 12th inning! What a game - it was beautiful!!!

I Want That

Isn't she a beaut?

I went to another class at Williams Sonoma this morning - Espresso, Cappaccino, and Coffee. It was great! This little number was one of the demos - it's new to the store. You pour milk in the glass part, fill the bottom part with water. There is a place for the grounds that sets right inside the bottom part. Then from the bottom up the water is forced through the grounds and into the milk. This is all done on your stovetop! Then after it is done brewing there is a wisk inside this contraption that mixes it all together!

Oh- WS is also selling some pumpkin latte mix to put inside of your morning drink, or to drizzle on ice cream. Mmmmm....i love the fall!

Irony

Lelaina: Can you define "irony"?


Troy Dyer: It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning
 
 
I LOVE Reality Bites....love it - it's definetly in my top 5. If you haven't seen it rush out and get it. It could just be my reminising about the 90's - but if you have fond memories of that era I think you will like it too.
 
I was thinking of irony because of something funny that happened in class on Tuesday. Maybe it's one of those things that is only funny to me. Let me give a little back story - since moving out here I have heard quite a few times "I'm granola" "We're crunchy" "I'm a total hippie" All of these attributes should be apparent without having to advertise. If you are these things then they will be obvious by the way you live. And I've seen plenty of hippies between here and NM. So when I hear these things I usually roll my eyes.
So on Tuesday there was a girl sitting next to me in class and I heard the guy in back of her asking her if she was drinking another hippie drink and she replied that yes, it was, because you know she's a hippie. She said this in all seriousness. As she was holding her Louis Viton (sp?) purse.
Can you define irony?
Wait - can you define judgemental?

Cooking Class

Last Sunday I went to cooking class at Williams Sonoma. They have free classes almost every Sunday morning. This past Sunday was French Techniques: Braising & Sauteing. It was packed! There were probably 40 people in there. It was ok - maybe not quite what I thought it was going to be, but I was still really glad that I went. I mean, any time spent at Williams Sonoma is a good time! Some of the other women there were kind of pushy though - so I guess that was the turn off part. You know there is always that one person who feels the need to talk the ENTIRE time?
A few things I learned (which you guys might already know - but that was new to me!):
Shallots have more of a garlicly flavor which makes them perfect for sauteing.
Always rub your meats and veggies dry before putting them in the pan. This will prevent any steaming.
Make sure the pan is super hot and turn down after you start sauteing the meat.
Above all - Don't crowd your food!!

Next class - in October it's espresso and coffee.

Happy Cooking!

Sept. 12 - first snowfall

That's right - it snowed on us yesterday in the mountains. Tony and I went hiking yesterday to St. Mary's Glacier. It was 39 degrees and flakes were coming down on us as we drove up to the trailhead.
I would rate the hike as moderately difficult. It was only about 1 mile up, but it was rocky the whole way. It was beautiful up at the glacier though! The lake below it was like glass. There were people snowboarding and skiing down the glacier, so that was fun to see. We're going to look into camping up there. When we got back home it was only 48 in Denver!! It was so nice to have cool weather - much needed.

Beef Stroganoff

Yesterday was a day for a warm comfort dinner - so I made stroganoff. This was the first time I have ever made it. It was very easy and made quite a bit!
Braise the meat in a bit of EVOO. After browning on all the sides I took it out of the pot and sauted my onions and mushrooms. Then I added about a cup and 1/2 of red wine and put the meat back in in. Add 1 can cream of mushroom soup with a bit of water and about 1/2 cup of cream. I added frozen peas as well, but that is optional. Salt and pepper. Let simmer for about 30 minutes. I cooked my no yolk noodles for only 5 minutes - added to the meat and cooked for another 10 minutes of so.

How do you like them apples?

I made an amazing apple pie tonight. I picked the apples from my tree - cored and peeled them, made my crust and viola! Sooo good!
This was the first time I made my own crust. My grandma would be so proud. It definitely wasn't the prettiest - but that's not what matters this go around. I followed the recipe for the pie filling some what - except I boiled the thinly sliced apples in a small amount of water with a cinnamon stick for about 10-15 minutes. Then I drained them, added 2 Cups of Sugar, some cinnamon, salt, and nutmeg, then poured it in pie crust, and cooked it at 350 for 35 minutes.
Tony said it looked better than a Betty pie, what a complement!

On another note I am thinking of starting an additional blog. Dedicated to my LOVE of food, both eating and cooking. Yes, I did just see Julie and Julia (HIGHLY recommend it), so maybe that is where some of the inspiration comes from. I guess I just saw so much of myself in that movie. It made me cry a few times during the movie because it hit home so hard. But I have ALWAYS loved to cook and try new things - so I might give it a shot. See, I say this now while I'm on my school break, so I might have to put it off, but I'm throwing it out there all the same. It's a way for me to be creative, document it and share it.

Fish Tacos....so good!

I've been craving fish tacos all week, and I thought instead of going to my fav restaurant I figured I would cut costs and just make some at home. They are so good! Definitely my favorite (I have probably mentioned this in the past). I made the coleslaw according to this recipe, but I cut the sugar to 1 cup, and it was still to much - I like my with more tang.
The salsa is homemade and the fish taco seasons is from simply organic. I used cod because I like the fish to be a bit thicker and not flaky.
Bon Appetit!

A man named Bob

My first boss when I started working for the government was Bob. He was the first person I got to meet from my new office - he came and ate lunch with me on my second day of induction. He was very kind and gave me, a nervous and overwhelmed girl, a warm feeling that I was going to be ok. He was very specific about his last name and the pronunciation of it. He gave me all his contact info and when he left I felt a little bit better about this huge decision I had just made.
Over the course of working with him for almost 3 years I witnessed how kind he was to everyone. EVERYONE! He never spoke harshly, was always understanding, and most importantly to me - he was a man of God. He truly was a witness - the kind I feel that all Christians are called to be. He wasn't evangelical in the sense that he walked around proselytizing, he did it by his actions and his words.
Last night Bob passed away. Suddenly. This morning when I got to work I found out. And my heart wretched to be with my friends, with my old colleagues. The people who had helped me to grow and develop when I felt so lost. They all know the Bob that I know, his quirky sense of humor and miscellaneous accidents that we always laughed at and said "oh Bob". I can hear it now, I can close my eyes and I'm there. But I'm not there, I'm thousands of miles away. We talked on the phone and it really helped for me to not feel so alone in my grieving.
Bob left behind 2 children, one still young, and a wife. He also left behind many friends and admirers. Most of all though, he left behind a legacy. A legacy of kindness and diligence. He loved what he did and he did it well. He did it with a smile and with a kind word for everybody.
Maybe if we all just had a little more of Bob in us, the world would be a better place. My world is a better place for having known him.
This probably doesn't make any sense except to those who were there, for that I'm sorry if this excludes people. But I was trying to think today of times that were so funny with Bob, and the one I keep going back to was the day we all ate lunch together and Bob was telling his story of his brother's dog and Irene asked him if he wore a mustache because he had been attacked. I hope my friends can find a smile when they read this - and they know that I love them, and I wish I was there to hug each one of them, and go through this together.

Mmmm...salsa

I've been trying a few different salsa recipes - but this one is the best so far (the Authentic Mexican one). I roast the Hatch Green Chiles, but I don't roast the Anaheim. I also roast the tomatoes to peel them instead of sticking them in boiling water. I also didn't add the cilantro. Tony doesn't particularly like it - so we think it's great without it.
Oh, and have you seen the new tostitos with a hint of jalepeno? Awesome!

Can you hear my sigh of relief? Can you?

I am done. I just finished my finance final. It's as good as it's going to get. Ahhh, I am so relieved....and so ready for our vacation!!!!

Gardening, one of the good things about suberbia

We have had such a great time gardening this year. It was one of the things we were looking forward to the most in having our own home with a yard! We are growing (some of it is already through for the year) sweet corn, bell peppers, green onions, purple onions, lima beans, black eye peas, pumpkins, jalapenos, basil, rosemary, tons of tomatoes, arugula, romaine lettuce, and strawberries.
We have enjoyed it so much - and the veggies have all been awesome. We have only had a few red tomatoes but the plants are dripping with green ones. And we tried a couple of the corn - they were tasty but the kernels were super small. The squash have been really good too and we've had so many we've been able to share with our neighbor. If all the tomatoes turn at once I'm going to attempt to can some of them and make my own marinara sauce. That should be interesting.
We also have an apple tree in the back yard. Poor thing - it's limbs look like they are going to break it is so heavy with apples. And this is after 2 hail storms! The apples are not quite ready but I think they will be after we get back from Minnesota. With those I think I'll blanch and freeze most of them but I'm also going to attempt applesause. Well, that's my intention....but we all know how well my intentions usually turn out. :( I'll probably run out of time and try to give most of them away!
Tomorrow I'm going to plant a fall crop - beans and cabbage. I'm not sure how early it is going to freeze here, but I'm sure I'll get a least a bit from this planting.

BWCA here we come!

Tony and I have been wanting to go canoeing/portaging for a few years now. We kept saying we were going to go and FINALLY we are going! We got our reservation back in April and it looks like it's going to be a pretty good spot. We are entering on Monday morning and exiting on Wednesday night. I'm really needing this break...from work...from school. 3 days of doing nothing but paddling around, taking pictures, taking naps, fishing, mainly just enjoying the company of Tony and nature.
We are driving up to Minnesota since we need to take so much stuff and we are taking Kirby. Tony's folks are going to watch him for us while we are up in the Boundary Waters. This will be so much better than trying to kennel him, plus he gets to play with his best friend Champ!
We still need to get a few things, but for the most part we have been preparing for this for a couple of years. For the past Christmas's we have gotten a tent and sleeping bags, and other really nice camping items.
We have been to the Boundary Waters before with Tony's parents, Will and Dan. This was probably 5 years ago though. We rented a cabin and although it had bats and spiders, we definitely weren't roughing it. But it was amazing and beautiful - we still laugh about some of the things that happened. GREAT memories!
On top of it all we get to be in Minnesota with family and friends. It's been 2 years since we've been there for a summer visit. Will and Andrea are having a engagement party so we'll get to spend some time in the Cities as well. It's a long drive (about 17 hours) but we'll drive through the night and it really isn't that bad!
Hopefully we'll have some really great pics to share!
Here's some pics from a couple of years ago -
Tony and I up on the land
Tony and Waylon
Me and Danny at their Aunts cabin

Dr. Ouch! Why I NOW hate the dentist

Let me start by saying that I have NEVER minded going to the dentist. In fact, I usually like it. I like getting my teeth cleaned and when I have a tooth ache I look forward to going because I know that when I leave I am going to feel better. We went for a few years without dental insurance and it sucked. My whole life I have had dental work done, so then when we finally got insurance I went and had to have a root canal and a crown and a few fillings. It wasn't that bad. That was 2005 when I had that done. I actually only had a temp crown put on that I wore for a couple of years. Then I saved up my money and got a real crown. A back story: I had all 4 wisdom teeth taken out when I was 18. With only novicane. And really through it all - it wasn't too bad. Afterwards I probably had to take an ibuprophen - but otherwise it was never bad.
And now I know why people hate going to the dentist.
We found a new dentist recently. He said that one of my molars was cracked and I needed a crown on that tooth. Now I didn't 100% believe him, but I thought, he's a medical professional, and if he says it's cracked it probably is. So I saved up my money for a couple of months and went and got a crown. And now I completely regret it. I should have gone with my gut feeling that said "don't trust this guy". First of all, after they drilled my tooth down to a nub and put on the temporary I was in enormous pain! I thought the side of my head was going to blow up - I was extremely swollen and had so much pressure. Then for the entire week afterwards I was constantly taken advil. My tooth and my entire mouth hurt so bad. I've never had a lasting pain like that from getting dental work. Finally the second week the pain let up but then I had to go in to get my permanent crown. I told them how bad it had been but the tech and the dentist just brushed it off. Then he only gave me enough novicane for about 15 minutes - because that is all that it should have taken. Then 40 minutes later he came to get started on my tooth!!! When he pulled the temporary off the tech shot air on it and I almost came unglued! It felt like an open nerve had been touched. Tears just burst out of me and I couldn't get ahold of myself. He rushed through the rest of it to get it done but it was still bad. I was so angry when I left there I couldn't even speak to the doctor.
It just sucks to pay so much money and to expect so much from a professional then to be so let down. It shouldn't be this hard to find an honest doctor.

104 degrees at Midnight aka Visitng Amy in Phoenix

I went to visit Amy the second weekend of July. My first trip to Phoenix. I knew it was going to be hot....but no idea how hot. It was beautiful - so much prettier than I thought it was going to be, but the heat? Yuck!
Amy has been living there for over a year and this was my first visit, I'm a bad sister. But I finally made it and we had a WONDERFUL visit! It was so much fun - we shopped around and ate out and went swimming (yeah - that lasted for about an hour before I couldn't take the heat even being in the pool).
We also went to the Grand Canyon - Amazing! It was overwhelming and I loved it! We stopped by Flagstaff on our way up and got to see Jenni and Rob's place! I'm so glad that Jenni had the afternoon off and got to come with us to the GC. We had such a great visit! Just a girls day trip - gossiping, laughing, getting to see Condors! After we got back to Flag met up with Rob and went to a little pub in town. We got back to Phoenix around midnight and yes, it was 104 degrees.
It was such a great trip and it was just what I needed - to get away, relax, and just enjoy my time with my sita.

Robin's visit

Robin flew out for the 4th of July and we had a great time! We were so glad to see an old friend! The day after she got here we went to Red Rocks to see Celtic Women - which was awesome! It was really cool to see them in an outside venue like that. Robin and I had gone to see them a couple of years ago in Baltimore and they were beautiful, so when I saw they were going to be here I really wanted to go with her again!
We went up to Vail another one of the days and got to explore around. Tony and I hadn't been up there yet. It was really pretty and it was like you would expect as far as people driving around in their hummers and 3 fur shops in this tiny village! There was a woman trying one on and it was such a crack up to listen to her talk about how she already had a couple but needed another one. She mostly goes to cocktail parties and does things for her daughter's school. WHAT? It's crazy the amount of money dripping around places like that. We ate at a little German restaurant that was really good and it was nice to just chat and catch up.
Another of the days we went up to Eldorado Canyon State Park, but they were at capacity and wouldn't let anyone else in. So we just drove on to Boulder and walked around. They have a nice farmers market and it's always fun to see the people sitting around playing music.
We'll be looking forward to the next visit! Hopefully we can plan to spend a few days in New Mexico exploring around.

Family visits

This summer has been so chaotic. We've had a lot of fun, but it's been busy. I can't believe it's almost August! What happened?
My parents came up the first weekend of June. They left on a Sunday morning and Tony's parents drove in that Sunday night. They spent a few days with us, flew to see Tony's sister, then came back and spent another weekend here. We had a blast! It's always so good to get to spend time with family. It's so nice to now have extra bedrooms and beds to have company! We're not crammed and trying to share a bathroom.
Here's some pics of our time together.

While Tony's parents and Daniel were visiting we went and rode the Royal Gorge train. It was beautiful. The train runs right alongside the river and we saw a lot of rafters. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon.
MARMOT! That was what Tony shouted right after we saw this little guy. He then proceeded to scatter away. I wouldn't call it running as this little thing is so fat! They are really cute though. And yes, that's snow up there. It was SO COLD!! It was 27 degrees at the top of Mt. Evans. We couldn't even get out of the car for more than a few minutes. There were people up there getting ready to snow board down.
So much snow! I thought there would be snow at the top, but there was quite a bit more on the drive up than I thought there would be.
Putting around - we found a nice little 9 hole course that's really good to walk. We had such a fun time, Tony and I forgot how much we love to play.

Words about an Amazing Lady

My great grandmother passed away on Thursday morning, June 25th. She was 94 years old, and I am one of the luckiest people I know because I had the opportunity to grow up with her and know her. How many people do you know that still have a great grandparent at the age of 28? Not many.
She had suffered a stroke in May, but had gotten better, then the night before she died she had another one.
She was one of the strongest women I have ever/will ever know. She raised most of her 8 brothers, plus her own children. She had stories of when she was little and they would travel by horse and wagon! Isn't that crazy? How much the world changed in her lifetime?
I will miss her greatly - but I have the best memories to treasure. She and my great grandfather used to watch me and my sister when we were little and we would watch Young and the Restless with them and eat green apples. It's those little things that count so much. She would teach us how to sew and let us play with whatever we found.
I've been wanting to post this for a while, but I wasn't sure what to write. Because no matter what I write it won't be enough...it won't do justice. I just miss her. My heart will ache for a long time at the loss, that I won't see her when I go home anymore, that I won't get a grandma kiss from her again.

Mmmmm, Summer Salad

I made the best salad tonight! I looked at a recipe online and then added some of my own ideas - it turned out VERY good! So good that I wanted to share it.
I roasted 2 ears of corn with a red bell pepper and a green bell pepper as well as an onion and a tomato.
The lettuce part consisted of spinach, arugala (home grown!), and some romaine. I added cheese and black beans and avacado to it as well.
For the dressing I put ranch and salsa together.
On top of it all I crumbled up some chips.
Delish!! It was such a good dinner after a hot summer day.

So many books....so little time

I miss reading for pleasure. I thought I would read a lot more on my week and a half break from school. Instead I painted one of the spare rooms (pics to come - I'm still not quite finished). Painting always takes so much more time than I think it will - and it's always much more messy. My new bed spread (a la Sarah moving to England) is now speckled yellow. But I think it's going to turn out great.

Tony's mom let me borrow her book "The Box Children" and I couldn't put it down. I finished it in 2 days. It was a quick read - about a girl growing up in the Texas panhandle with a crazy mom. It was somewhat depressing but it was a page turner.



I've also been reading "The Element". Background on this book: My management professor from last quarter gave it to me as a gift. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by "a gift" because she used that word quite a bit in class referencing the different material we were going over - or clips of speakers - or presentations - they were "gifts". She gave me the book because I had been disappointed in one of our advising sessions - it wasn't necessary, but she did it because she said she felt bad. (WHAT? Have you ever heard of a compassionate professor who actually cares what her students feel? One of the reasons I LOVED this class so much!) So I'm taking this book as an actual gift - a present. What do you think? Should I give it back to her after I read it?

This book is really good so far. I'm enjoying learning about all these people who found what they are good at, pursued it, and excelled. Isn't that every one's dream? To LOVE your job so much that it is no longer just a job?



I would love to get paid to read...at least I think I would. But maybe I wouldn't love it as much if I had to do it in order to get a paycheck? Nah, I would still love it. I can't get enough of books. You should see my "to read" list. It gets longer every day. So I've thought I would love to go into editing, but I am picky and wouldn't want to be editing math books. Maybe I would enjoy teaching people to read? Perhaps ESL? I also enjoy reading for people - one of the best jobs I have ever had was when I worked at the community college and I read text books for blind and dyslexic students. I LEARNED so much - even the subjects I didn't enjoy I still learned from. All because of reading an pre-nursing text book into a recorder I now know that the Penile Gland is pronounced "Pen - ill", NOT "pee-nul". BIG DIFFERENCE - unfortunately Tony didn't catch me saying that incorrectly until I was almost through with that chapter......I just hope the student listening knew I was pronouncing it incorrectly!

10 years since High School?!?

Wow - Am I really that old? Yes... I am. 28 is much better than 18 though. And it keeps getting better.
My reunion is next weekend. I have decided not to go. Many reasons (or excuses), but I thought about it and I'm not going to do it. I didn't just start thinking about it recently - I've thought about it for a while. A for that entire while I knew I wouldn't go.
There's too much water under the bridge and then there's not enought water under the bridge. Does that make sense?
I have kept in touch with a few people that I went to HS with - people I love and I care about and that I want to be part of my life. A few very close friends. There are some people I would love to see and catch up with but I don't think they are going either, although some of them are. And really - if I wanted to catch up with them I probably could.
I haven't gotten to go home very much in the past 5 years and the time I have gotten to be with my family has been limited...too limited. So if I'm going to drive the 7 1/2 hours home I'm going to spend that time with my family, it is precious to me. And I don't want to divide that time with anyone else.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of good memories with good friends, some of whom I would like to catch up with. But A LOT has happened in my life in the past 10 years. In many ways I am the same person I have always been, but in many other ways I am changed, as I am sure many others have. There are doctors, lawyers, mothers and fathers. There are world changers and there are those who are still waiting to make their mark. That's the part I would like to see, but the part I'm afraid I would see are the one's who haven't changed that much.
I really wish everyone the best, but this is one party I can't go to. Although I do hope that Mar fills me in. :)

New Mexico in May

We went home to New Mexico for Mother's Day (and my B-day). I would have blogged about it sooner but I'm a bum! :) It was wonderful - the weather was great and it wasn't windy!! We got to see my great grandmother. She's been so sick and we were really glad we were able to visit with her. Tony had a good time - it has been years since he had been back to NM. We didn't get to stay there very long. We got in after midnight on Friday night and had to leave Sunday morning. It sucked because I got sick on Sunday morning - I was probably just being a hypochondriac but I got bit by a spider and had a weird reaction. SERIOUSLY? Always something! It was really beautiful though and we had fun - I'll probably go back in July but Tony may not make it back until Christmas.

Visit with my parents

My folks came up last week - it was wonderful!!! They had been in Phoenix with Amy then drove up through Moab to come stay with us for a few days. We had a great time! Of course I tried to over compensate and drove us to a lake that turned out to be REALLY far away....super cold and windy - we were probably at 13,000 ft. I felt bad for that - all Tony and my dad wanted to do was fish but we spent way to long in the car. But the drive back was beautiful and we stopped and played in the South Platte for a while.
Here's a couple of pics:

I PASSED!!! WOO-HOO

I passed accounting.....I was SO worried that I wouldn't pass this class. And by pass I mean get at least an 84 - that is passing at DU. I did it! SO....VERY....RELIEVED........now for a glass of wine. My next classes start in 3 days. No light at the end of this tunnel.

Moab Fun

What an amazing weekend. Tony and I drove to Utah to meet up with our friends who drove up from Flagstaff. The weekend was great - so relaxing and it was soooo nice to see our friends!We haven't seen them in so long - since they came out to Maryland for Thanksgiving years ago.
The drive was only about 6 hours, maybe less. Not bad at all. It was a very beautiful drive and we got to see the western slope of the Rockies - which neither of us had seen before, so we enjoyed it. Moab of course was PACKED! I had been worried about this but we wanted to see Jenni and Rob and we've been wanting to go to Moab for a long time. Jenni and Rob had gotten there about 2 or 3 hours before we did and they hunted the entire time for a place to camp and no campsites were available. And no hotels. So when we got there at 10pm we decided to drive into the National Forest and just try to pop our tent somewhere, which is exactly what we did. We were so exhausted! I think it was about 11:30 by the time we got pulled over and set up. I was just giddy to be with them though! Some of my best memories are of camping with them. The next day we ended up going further into the forest and finding a better campsite next to a trail head. We hiked for a couple of hours Saturday and then did an even longer one on Sunday morning. We got some great photos. It was breathtaking. The cliffs were so steep and you could see forever. I can't wait to go back and explore more.

Rants...

You know what really irks me more than the anorexic girl next to me complaining about how fat her thighs are? It's when the kid on the other side bitches about missing one question on a test when he knows you aren't passing the class. Seriously? I sit next to really considerate people....obviously.

These things suck my time.....and I enjoy every minute of it

So I got the whole (all of 1) season of My So-Called Life on DVD. I know I completely bogart the blockbuster queue. I loved MSCL in HS. LOVED it. I felt for Angela's restlessness and not being sure where she belonged and her lust for Jordan....oh Jordan. It still makes me grin to see Jared Leto leaning against those lockers. I guess some crushes never go away. :) It is funny watching it all these years later. I still think her mom was anal and pushed her kids away. She meant well, she just stuck her nose in everyone's business. But now I see how difficult Angela was with her parents, and how all Rayanne needed was some guidance and discipline. I have one disk left before I'm done with the whole season...which leads me to ask - why was there only one season? This show as so great!
Watching it reminds me too of going to the movies to see Romeo and Juliet with Clare Danes. Man that movie was amazing! I still love it! The soundtrack, the clothes...everything about it.

I'm reading Candy Girl by Diablo Cody. I first heard about it on Fish's blog and it sounded good and gritty. And it is gritty. I'm over half way through. I really think she was just going for shock factor - I don't really know how honest it is. Or perhaps it's too honest? I knew going into it what it was going to be and it is definitely a page turner, but not one that I would give a high rating. I just can't imagine that someone would WANT to do this. HAVE to do this..ummm, I guess I can understand. The money that some of these ladies make is insane and they are right - they probably couldn't make that kind of money anywhere else. And Craig says that 99% of strippers are just paying their way through med school or law school, right? But I just think the book would have been great without the language. Or maybe I just can't put down my guard enough to enjoy it.

I'm a bum....maybe it's the weather

So weekend before last it snowed....and it snowed.....then I thought it was going to stop, but no...just more and more. I would say we got 15+ inches....and it was beautiful but seriously? I'm over winter. First of all we didn't even really have a winter because it was extremely warm and very little snow. So I shouldn't be moaning about the fact that it is still winteresk. But we keep getting teased with warm days. This morning I woke up to about 3 inches on the ground and it continued on until mid morning. Then I get off work and there isn't a trace of snow anywhere! This is the weirdest weather ever. We had planted our herbs this weekend. They were in boxes so I raced to bring them in this morning and I think they are going to make it. Our poor raspberry bush got all it's beautiful green limbs broken off but hopefully it will still produce!

I haven't been blogging...and I haven't been doing homework like I should. I just cringe! I'm getting burnt out and I'm not even 1/2 way through! I need 84 credits to get my degree and after this quarter I will have 22. No light at the end of the tunnel. I know I'm going to have to get my act back together, but it was beautiful to take the weekend off and just do what I wanted. Which included garden shopping, working out (oh my...working out...really over did it), watching My So Called Life on DVD (A-M-A-Z-I-N-G) which deserves a little blog all of it's own, and reading a really trashy novel by Diablo Cody about her being a stripper. I'm going to try and save those last two items for a post of their own.

I'll have to upload the pics later - for some reason they aren't loading.

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter.
We woke up way too early this morning and went to the Sunrise service at Red Rocks. It was very beautiful and we were glad that we went!
Sorry I haven't posted in a while - I'm just going through a slump - All my good thoughts go into school work. I know...excuses excuses!

Weekend with the girls

My mom and aunt and grandma came up to visit me this past weekend and it was wonderful! They had to battle the blizzard on Thursday but they made it! I was mad the weather wasn't better, but at least we were together. It really makes living in Colorado even better to be reminded of how close I am to my family and to get to spend time together like this. We shopped ALOT and went out to eat and laughed and had fun. I really wish my sister could have been here too - that would have made it complete. Hopefully next time she will be with us too. I'll try to upload my pics later and post them.
Happy Monday!

Mr. Winter - are you done yet?

Woke up this morning to snow again. Don't get me wrong. I love snow and I love winter. But it is almost April and I am ready for spring. We had the most mild winter and now this? It was crazy on Thursday and now it's coming down again. I started to drive in when I called the snow line and found out we have a delay...the roads weren't that bad, maybe I just should have gone in anyways. Decisions Decisions! I guess I'll hold off for now.....
Hopefully this will be the last of our winter though. Mother nature keeps teasing us - 75 degree's weekend before last and freezing this past weekend. I'm pretty sure our trees that budded out are done....no telling if my tulips are going to make it (those the Kirby hasn't already devoured).
And now my feelings are hurt. I accidentally scared Kirby when I came back home this morning and now he is super scared of me! He won't even come to me.

I will be a Yogi....if I don't break my face first

I went to yoga again today. I even bought my own mat so that I don't have to lay down on the grody communal gym one. I do love yoga and I want to get really good at it. Let me rephrase that....I love the way people look when they do yoga and I desire to look like that. But it is so much harder than it looks. I thought I was going to eat it today.....mostly because of my sweaty palms! They just start sliding and I have to stop the pose. Then I look over in the mirror, thinking to myself, you are probably doing good....WRONG! I look like a pale, off balance chunk! My wobbling only adds to my belly bouncing and I kind of want to giggle, but I know that's inappropriate in the class. The harder I try the goofier I look. I am so ungraceful - which is one of the reasons I want this so badly! I know I can do this...I'm just worried about how long it's going to take. I'm inpatient. I mean - I've been walking for 27 years and I have not mastered it......what does that say?

Sad face.....

I had to take an assessment test before my accounting class starts next Tuesday. And I failed.....so of course, I feel like a failure. It was not at all what I thought it would be. What is wrong with me? I'm just in a sad mood, so I'm going to vent.
I got off work late....again. Completely overwhelmed.
I need new contacts ASAP!
The computer is bombing out...again.
The new TV we just got already bit the dust and some repair guy can't come out until next week.
I have to sit through an accounting class on Saturday in order to take the test...again...and I have to pass this time in order to take the class.
How can I have not passed a BASIC accounting exam? Seriously?? I know I haven't taken an accounting class since 2002 but still!!! That is only 7 years ago!!!! Urghh.

I'm just a sappy mess. I'm holding in my crying right now and my heart fills full of tears. I hate that! No, it's not because of my exam, although that did add to my stress. I saw an old friend's myspace (yes, I know, myspace...am I 13?) profile and it just brought up a lot of old memories. You know, the kind you suppress and only think about when you are ready to lay your head down and sob until your dehydrated. I haven't spoken to him in so many years....too many years. He and I share a past that is heartbreaking and beautiful. This was not a romantic relationship - it was just a friendship. I wonder if people forget that you love them if you let a relationship fall to the side? I think part of the reason we didn't keep in touch was because it was too painful to do so, at least that is my excuse. He is a reminder....and it's not like I need reminders of ANYTHING to do with my past. I am the master of carrying my past everywhere I go. And I have learned to live with all that has happened. I have learned how to deal with happiness and sorrow and to live a life effected by them, yet not affect me on a daily basis. I think that no matter how old you get or how long ago in the past something happened, the emotions can sneak up on you and make it feel like it happened recently. Pain dulls, but is that only because we learn to live with it? That must be it because it's not like you look back and say "it wasn't that bad or that good". It becomes a scar that we are used to seeing everyday. Then you run into someone that shares a similar scar, they may have it in a different place and theirs may be deeper, but it reopens your wound and reminds you that it will never truly go away.

If you have a baby, you won't be the baby!

That is one of my favorite lines from one of the funniest movies ever, Overboard.

I guess I just have babies on the mind. I've had "baby fever" before....but this time it's pretty bad. It could be that I have a birthday in a couple of months and I'm going to be 28. Man I used to think that was ancient! Or maybe it's because I feel like everyone I know is having a baby, or trying to have a baby, or expanding their family. Ok, that's an exaggeration....there are plenty of friends who aren't in family mode yet. But it just somehow feels right...like we should be trying for one.

Then my realistic side kicks in and says "of course you can't have a baby now!" I don't have time....wow- that sounds like a cop-out. Who does have the time? I know I can't do it while still in school, and I think that's why I want one, because I know that I really can't do it right now. You know, you always want what you can't have. But I go to school 2 nights a week. Ok, that's not bad. But on those days I try to leave for work 6ish (if I don't go to spinning at 5:30am) and don't get home until around 10:30 at night. So on those days I wouldn't see my baby and Tony would be a single parent. Who wants to sign up for that? Oh and the logistics...don't get me started.
If by chance I can accelerated the rate I am taking classes (currently I'm taking 2 classes per quarter) and possibly be done sooner, then maybe we can start trying next fall...if not, I won't be done with school until 2011.....and that seems like so far away.
On the flip side there is still so much we want to do before we are tied down. We would like to travel some more, save up some money....I could go on and on with excuses. I guess in the mean time I'll have to live vicariously through my friends with babies....Andi, Renata, Jen, Heather, Trysha.....

Amy

I was in a Ryan Adams mood tonight and was thinking about the first song I ever heard from him. It was probably around 2001/2002 ish. I was making a CD for my sister and trying to find all songs named Amy when this one came up. The video isn't very good, but the song is still good quality.

Italy...a year ago

A year ago this past week I was in Italy. I have the most wonderful memories and I think about them often. Sometimes I still can't believe that we went! It always seemed like such a far fetched dream. I can't wait to go on another vacation like that....somewhere new and exciting.
Besides getting to be with Tony and Robin and Jesse (number one memory) I really can't pin point what the best part was. I have many favorite memories. One of my favorites was when Tony and I went on this little side street in Assisi. The town seemed so sureal. Another wonderful memory was when Tony and I walked around Rome by ourselves trying to find a place to eat, then stopping by a cafe on our way back to the hotel. At one point we were semi lost but we just kept going in the direction we thought was right, and we ended up back in the neighborhood by the hotel. What an amazing time.


Throwing coin in Trevi Fountain in Rome


Side street in Assisi


Beside the Doge's palace.

Pics of the new bathroom

Here are the old pictures and the new pictures of our bathroom. I love it and I'm so proud of Tony!
Now he's on to redoing our mantel and the tile around the fireplace. It's always something!

Sorry it's taken me so long to post these!

Today we went snowboarding and I am so sore! I didn't do too well, but still better than I've ever done before. It was a lot of fun though, despite all the falling. I just hope I can get out of bed tomorrow. :)