The other day my friend sent me an email at work and he was telling me how he's at a place in his life that is definetly good - but how he wants something different. He thought things would be different. He and his wife really want to move closer to family, but are struggling to figure out HOW to make that happen. How do you walk away from a really good job, a house you can't sell, instead of waiting and seeing how things go maybe next year? Patience is such a virtue and one of the hardest things to have. They are homesick. He thought things would be different and he feels like his wheels are just spinning as he's biding his time. I've been there. We've all been there. It's so easy to forget about the present because you are busy trying to plan your future. How much do we miss by doing that?
It got me thinking about how you picture your future at different points in your life and then it seems to turn out so different than you had imagined. A lot has to do with fate - but I think a lot has to do with you and what you create for your future. I would like to think that you can do anything.....maybe that is my age still talking. But to a certain extent you can create your own course. Not to say you won't fail, but the worse thing would be having never tried. It's easy to say - I want to do this and I think it would make me happy - but the following through is so hard. You may have to give up your good job to go back to school with the hope of finding a more fulfilling career. You are rolling the dice - but honestly - how often does someone get a degree or training and then say - well, that extra time and money and new education wasn't worth it? At least you tried - you went for it. And the potential pay off is so much more than struggling in the mean time. I struggle with this because I'm such a worrier! I will worry about the smallest details until I make myself sick.
As I was laying in bed the other night thinking about this - an image, maybe a dream but I wasn't fully asleep yet, came to my mind that filled me with calmness. This image is quite a few years down the road, but it's peaceful and I can't stop thinking about it. Tony and I were at his Aunt Edie's cabin on the lake (Minn), a place we have been numerous times before. Tony's dad spent summers there and Tony got to go there when he was young too. It's been in the family for a long time. It's a beautiful little bungaloo and you can walk right down to the pier. In the image Tony was down at the pier with our two little boys and they were fishing. I could hear them giggling and squealing. I was up on the porch working on research for school and beside me was a bassenet with a beautiful baby girl sleeping in it. The breeze was nice and soft and it was a beautiful summer day. My cup runneth over.
Now whether or not this will ever happen is up in the air. But it's a very real possibility. Anyways, I've been thinking about it all week and it has made me smile each time. Maybe that is my happy place - the place I should close my eyes and go to when things get stressful - or when I forget about the really important things in life. My mantra.
What's yours?
